"Bearing One Another's Burdens: What Happens to One Happens to All", By Christie Gillman

A couple of years ago a humor columnist for a local Utah newspaper wrote on a serious and thought-provoking subject. I quote from this article:  

“Being a go-to-church Mormon in Utah means living so close to fellow ward members that not much happens that the entire congregation doesn’t know about in five minutes tops.”

He continues: 

“This kind of cheek-to-jowl (very close together) living can be intrusive. … It also happens to be one of our greatest strengths.”

The author goes on to say: 

“At work on Tuesday, I caught the noon news broadcast on television.  A van had been obliterated in a traffic crash.  A young mother and two small children were being rushed to emergency rooms by helicopter and ambulance. … Hours later I learned that the van belonged to the young couple living across the street from me in Herriman, Eric and Jeana Quigley.

“Not only do I see the Quigleys in church, … we ate dinner with them at a neighborhood party the night before the crash. Our grandkids played with daughters Bianca and Miranda. …

“Fourteen-month-old Miranda suffered serious head injuries and died three days later at Primary Children’s Hospital.

“Here’s where all that nosiness … pays off. Although the accident occurred several miles from home, the dust literally had not settled before someone from the ward stopped and was pulling through the wreckage. The rest of the ward knew about it before the cops and paramedics showed up.

“Ward members went to all three hospitals, contacted Eric at work, and organized into labor squads. People who didn’t get in on the immediate-need level were frantic for some way to help.

“In 48 hours, the Quigley yard was mowed, home cleaned, laundry done, refrigerator stocked, relatives fed and a trust fund set up at a local bank. We would have given their dog a bath if they had one.”

The author concludes with this insightful comment: “There is a positive side to the congregational microscope my ward lives under. … What happens to a few happens to all” (Robert Kirby, “Well-Being of Others Is Our Business,” Salt Lake Tribune, July 30, 2005, p. C1).

What does it mean to bear one another’s burdens?  Do I have to keep such a vigilant watch over my neighbor’s that I look through my windows with binoculars….or overstep my boundaries as a concerned neighbor?  Do I have to take care of every need that another in the ward has?  How do I know when it is the right time for me to step in and give help to someone I know has a need?  What if they refuse my help?  What if I am not in a financial position to offer the kind of assistance that they need?  Is it necessary to give more attention to someone in the ward than to my own family?  When is the service I have given too much?  Does every service I provide need to be a big production?  Why is it that sometimes I hesitate and other times I jump right in and help immediately?   

These are all very valid questions.  Often we doubt ourselves when it comes to giving or offering to give service to someone.  First of all we need to understand what a burden is. 

 “A burden is something that is carried, a load, a responsibility, a duty, something that is oppressive or worrisome” (Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary).  

The mere fact that we are human and have been placed on this earth to learn and grow means that we will encounter burdens throughout our lifetime.  Burdens come in a variety of forms and degrees of severity.  Some last but a short time and are relatively easy to bear while others continue for years, wearing us down emotionally and physically. 

“Difficulties come into our lives, problems we do not anticipate and which we would never choose. None of us is immune. The purpose of mortality is to learn and to grow to be more like our Father, and it is often during the difficult times that we learn the most, as painful as the lessons may be.” ( President Thomas S. Monson, “God Be with You Till We Meet Again,” Liahona, Nov. 2012, )

The burdens that we must endure are for our growth and our good.  

Class members give a list of examples: (just call them out)

    

Grief, hunger, mistrust, loss, lack, self-esteem, safety, frustration, finances, money, relationships, worry, security, death, family, illness, grades, responsibility, secrets, stress, conflict, school, doubt, fear, guilt, etc.  

Elder L. Whitney Clayton, President of the Seventy, points out “Burdens that we must endure, generally speaking, come from three main sources:  

A natural condition of the world we live in.  We have no control over these and they occur through no fault of our own.

Illness

physical disability

natural disasters (earthquakes, hurricanes, etc)

(We can plan for, and even predict some of these, but we will all encounter some of these in our life.)

Some burdens are imposed upon us by the misconduct of others.

Abuse and addictions (burdensome for innocent family members)

incorrect traditions, repression (forceful control), crime 

gossip, unkindness  (cause others genuine suffering)

Our own mistakes and shortcomings.

Sin (the most difficult and burdensome to deal with)”  

 “Burdens provide opportunities to practice virtues that contribute to eventual perfection.  They invite us to yield “to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, put off the natural man and become a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon us, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19);  Thus burdens become blessings; but they take time, effort, and faith to accept and understand” (L. W. Clayton, That Your Burdens May Be Light, Nov 2009).  

What are the virtues that burdens allow us to practice?  (list)

- yield to the enticings of the HG

- Put off natural man

- become a saint

- become as a child

- submissive

- meek

- humble

- patient

- full of love

- willing to submit to all things

Each of us is going to have many trials and burdens in our lives to endure and work through.  The refinement that we go through by enduring our burdens helps us to develop empathy for problems that others must go through.  That empathy reserve is what we must draw upon to offer our love and support to each other.  

The Apostle Paul taught us that we should “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” - Galatians 6:2

What does it mean to bear one another’s burdens?  

Alma answers this question beautifully in Mosiah 18:8-9.  He teaches us that our baptismal covenants require that we should be “willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and [be] willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”  

Skipping down to verses 27-29 (Mosiah 18) 

And again Alma commanded that the people of the church should impart of their substance, everyone according to that which he had; if he have more abundantly he should impart more abundantly; and of him that had but little, but little should be required; and to him that had not should be given.  

And thus they should impart of their substance of their own free will and good desires towards God, and to those…that stood in need, yea, and to every needy, naked soul.

…having been commanded of God; and they did walk uprightly before God, imparting to one another both temporally and spiritually according to their needs and their wants.”  (Mosiah 18:27-29)

What do these scriptures teach us? (list commandments from previous scriptures)

Keeping our baptismal covenants helps ease our own burdens as well as those whom we serve.  This service of bearing one another’s burdens is a holy act that we perform.  The Savior taught this principle when the righteous asked: 

“Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:35-40

As we fulfill our covenants by bearing one another’s burdens, we must learn service and charity.  Service requires action.  We must do something.  We cannot learn of another’s burdens and wish them away.  We must act upon that knowledge and offer assistance.  Service can be given in many ways and we must all be willing to serve no matter our age, income, or abilities.  We each have gifts and abilities to share with others.  We can help others economically, spiritually, physically, and socially.  Our gifts of service can be large or small…don’t pass up the opportunity to help someone because you think it won’t be big enough or good enough.  Often a service that may seem small and insignificant to you is huge to the recipient and an answer to their prayer.  

One point that is very important to remember as we strive to serve others:  It is not our job to take away another’s burden but to help them bear it.  We can’t fix everything, nor should we try.  The load or stress that we each carry is part of our personal refinement process.  Taking it completely away from someone deprives them of that growth and learning.  However, we are under covenant to help them get through that struggle emotionally, spiritually, physically, and socially.  We must lift them up, buoy them up, help them cope, and help them find tools to work through the burden themselves, but never take it away.

Charity is the purest form of love we can attain.  It is the love that Christ has for us.  President Kimball said, “God does notice us, and he watches over us.  But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs” (Teachings of Presidents of the church:  Spencer W. Kimball, 2006, p. 82).  

What does it mean if I offer service to someone in need and they refuse it?  Does that make me a failure?  Does that mean they don’t like me?  No.  Everyone has the right to accept or refuse our acts of kindness, service, and charity.  It is very easy to give help to others, but it is very difficult to accept it ourselves.  Why are we like that?  We don’t want to appear less than perfect to others.  But do you know what… we all need help.  

Christ gave us the most perfect example of our choice to accept or refuse service from one another.  In John 13: 4-17 we read:

“He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself.  After that he poureth water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded. Then cometh he to Simon Peter: and Peter saith unto him, Lord, dost thou wash my feet? Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.

Peter saith unto him, Thou shalt never wash my feet. Jesus answered him, If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.  Simon Peter saith unto him, Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.  Jesus saith to him, He that is washed needeth not save to wash his feet, but is clean every whit: and ye are clean… So after he had washed their feet, and had taken his garments, and was set down again, he said unto them, Know ye what I have done to you?  Ye call me Master and Lord: … for so I am.  If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example that ye should do as I have done to you.  Verily, verily, I say unto you, the servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.  If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.”(John 13:4-17)

This beautiful example of service given by Jesus, teaches us that we must avail ourselves to others.  We must allow people to serve us and we must serve others; no one is better than the other.  Each one of us will go through difficult times with burdens too heavy for us to carry alone. We need help to get through those times.  Humbling ourselves to accept the service and charity offered by others lifts us, lifts them, and both are strengthened.  

When we give service or bear one another’s burdens, we do not have the right to make judgment upon those we serve.  That is not our place or our burden to carry.  King Benjamin teaches this principle beautifully in Mosiah chapter 4.  It is our duty to give aid, to lift, to teach, to help, without judging, giving with that Christ-like love that we receive from our HF through others. (Mosiah 4:21)

King Benjamin further instructs us: 

“And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.” (Mosiah 4:27)  

Our first responsibility is to care for the needs of our family; then we should help all who need help.  In the Doctrine and Covenants we read about how important it is to “… succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees. (D&C 81:5)   

President Kimball reminds us that “So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving mundane help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow from mundane acts and from small but deliberate deeds!” (Teachings of Presidents of the church: Spencer W. Kimball, (2006), 79-88).

In Ezekiel 34 we are given the Savior’s example of service.  Reading through the chapter we find such words as strengthen, bind up, bring again, seek, search, deliver, bring them out, gather, and feed.  These are all action verbs.  The Lord wants us to actively seek, serve, and save others.  (Kathy K. Clayton, Apr 2011 BYU/RS Women’s Conference)

In Isaiah 6:8 Jesus once again demonstrates His willingness to serve.  “Here am I, send me.” We must model ourselves after this example.  We need to develop the disposition of “Here am I, send me.”  We need to teach our children to follow this example as well.  

Examples of service:

Hailey Norris, the 17 yr old, daughter of my VT companion, demonstrated action, lifting up another, and compassion for a lady in a store parking lot several weeks ago.  Hailey and her friends noticed a lady looking quite distressed and like she had been out in the heat for a long time.  Hailey asked the lady if she needed some help.  The lady said that she had been asking for several hours for someone, anyone to help her change a flat tire.  Many people ignored her, walked by her, and just left her stranded.  (Does this remind you of a parable we know?)  Neither Hailey nor the lady knew how to change a tire, Hailey didn’t even know what lug nuts were or what the long handle did…BUT, she figured it out and changed the tire.  As she was trying to figure out what to do ideas came into her mind, she was given what she needed to change that tire.  The lady was so appreciative of Hailey’s service that she offered to pay her.  Hailey refused any money but told her to “have a better rest of the day.”  As Hailey recounted this experience to her mother, mom found this to be a teaching moment for Hailey.  Mom explained to Hailey that the Holy Ghost was helping her to help this lady.  What a beautiful example of service from a Young Woman.  Even though Hailey didn’t know what to do…she did something.  Hailey didn’t walk away, she didn’t tell her I’m too busy, or I don’t know how.  She worked and fumbled through until the two of them figured it out.  

I never cease to be amazed by the willingness I see in some to serve, no matter their personal situation.  Sometimes the service required of us is very physical, back-breaking work; other times it requires our faith and prayers; and other times it requires a listening ear, a hug, or something as simple as a note or a text saying “I was just thinking of you today.”  Often those simple acts come at the time they are most needed.  Listen to that small voice and act upon those promptings.  You may be the one HF is trying to use to get a message to his child who is in need.   

I love examples of service that are given by our small children.  I have some sweet little neighbor girls that come to my house with beautiful pictures, cards, and flowers at random times.  They come and visit me, they tell me stories of their day, they sing and dance, and even play the piano for me.  These girls are little rays of sunshine in my life.  

(Ask for more examples of service rendered or received.)

Lucy Mack Smith said “We must cherish one another, watch over one another, comfort one another and gain instruction that we may all sit down in heaven together.” (Daughters in My Kingdom, 25).

“When you love, watch over, and serve others in small and simple ways, you are actively participating in the work of salvation, God’s work, ‘to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.’” —Carole M. Stephens

“…we all have burdens to bear and burdens to share. An invitation to bear one another’s burdens is an invitation to keep our covenants.” —Linda K. Burton

As members of the church, we have a sacred responsibility to bear one another’s burdens.  Draw upon those life experiences you have had to develop an increased capacity for love, compassion, and understanding. Become an effective responder when you see a need.  Give comfort, show compassion, lift another, and teach others by your example.  As we keep our covenant to bear one another’s burdens, we draw closer together as a family, as a ward, as children of God – what happens to one happens to all.

I say these things in Jesus’ name, Amen.